Evaluations
by Celest
Summary: What happens when the WWE RAW members have to get psychological evaluations?
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: Sigh, I completely forgot to do this. Anyway, I don't own anyone in this story except Danielle. Even then at times I think she owns me. I am not making any money off of this - I wish I was...but I'm not. The rating T? Yeah...that's just in case I make a mistake somewhere and it becomes less of a kiddie story. Just want to make sure a five year old doesn't read this and go, "Mommy, what is a - whatever." And if you are a five year old reading this, go to a good school and become a doctor or lawyer or anything that pays well. The writing business doesn't work too good until you're dead.

That's all.

Oh and I don't mean this as to intentionally make fun of the wrestlers. Ah hell, I do. They make millions - they can take some making fun of.

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"I hope this isn't too inconvenient Mr. McMahon. We just want to make sure that your wrestlers haven't suffered much in their mental health. Being on the road all year can make that happen to people," Danielle Harris said as she walked with Mr. McMahon towards the back of the stadium.

Mr. McMahon who was doing his typical walk flashed his typical up to no good smile and replied, "No problem at all. I know it can be hard on these guys and we always want to make sure we don't have any problems with them."

"Then we are on the same page."

They arrived at a door to which Mr. McMahon opened it for Miss Harris. "This is where you can talk to each of them by themselves."

"Thank you."

"Oh and Miss Harris?"

"Call me Danielle."

"Danielle, if you could find out anything about DX and see if they are perhaps in need of a vacation make sure to tell me about it. There might be something extra for you."

Danielle nodded. She was used to this kind of thing from employers. They always had one or two they wanted to get rid of and used the psychological evaluation to get rid of them. Now all she had to figure out was who DX was.


	2. Randy Orton

There was a loud knock coming from the door. Before Danielle was able to tell them to come in, the handle was already turned and the door opened. Typical of wrestlers who felt as though they were the best thing ever. The first thing she saw was a chin followed by the cheesiest smile she had ever seen. Seriously, the chin was huge. It would have given Jay Leno competition in a chin contest.

"Randy Orton?" Danielle asked uncertain of herself. She had the list of people in front of her but they probably wouldn't all come in the proper order. Most likely they would just show up whenever they felt like it.

"Remember that name because you will be screaming it all night," he said as he struck his pose in front of her.

Danielle blinked.

After the few minutes of posing, he sat down in the chair. And Danielle was shocked he didn't slip off of it from the amount of grease on his body. She felt like putting on her sunglasses so that she wouldn't have to worry about her eyes being burned out from the light reflecting back at her.

"You want me," Randy said as he flashed her his mug shot. It just made the chin look longer. She felt like tilting her head a bit to make sure she didn't get poked by it.

She couldn't say anything to that comment. She did want him but only to do this evaluation. It's times like these she realizes just how guys work. They make these stupid comments and then no matter what you answer they -

"The Ortonmeister knows what the ladies want," he said bringing her out of her internal digression about the male psyche.

"The Ortonmeister?"

"All the ladies want the Ortonmeister." He stood up once more and struck his pose. It was really weird to see him do it like that because there was no music so it only added to the creepy vibe he gave off.

"Well Mr. Orton-"

"Ortonmeister," he corrected her.

"Mr. Orton, we are going to try some word association. Just to break the ice," Danielle reached down for a form to evaluate the words he said.

Randy broke down. He started to cry. The Legend Killer aka Ortonmeister was crying in the middle of his evaluation.

"Are you okay?"

"No I am not okay! I am going to end up failing this test, losing my next match, then get sent to Smackdown where I will lose yet again, be forced out of my house and have to sell fake Rolexes on the corner. I don't even know where to buy fake Rolexes so how can I sell them? Why? Why would you do this to me?"

"I...I haven't done anything yet. You only need to-"

"Why! Why? Was it because of the Ortonmeister coming on a bit too strong? The Ortonmeister can change. He can change!" He dropped to his knees and was groveling in front of her. It truly was a sad sight.

Danielle put the papers down and signed the form. It wasn't worth it. "Here, take this to Mr. McMahon. It says you are mentally well enough to continue to wrestle."

Randy jumped to his feet. "The Ortonmeister thanks you," he said as he took the form from her hand. Then he struck his pose yet again before exiting the room.

Danielle slumped back in her chair feeling defeated. And this was only the first one - how many more did she have to do?


	3. Edge

Danielle had just finished with Randy when the door was opened yet again by another RAW star. This time it was Edge. With that hair. That crazy hair. Reminded her of hair that had not been combed in few years. Back in college she had a friend who had hair like that. What was his name again?

"Uh hello? Get back to me," he said as he plopped down on the chair. He kicked his feet up on her desk and stretched back.

"Feet off," she said as she pushed his feet off of her desk with her hands.

Edge put his feet back on the desk.

Danielle hit them off again.

He put his feet back on the desk.

"Stop that," she said as she hit them off once again.

Edge put his feet back on the desk.

This time Danielle didn't even care. "So Edge is it?"

He gave her a crooked smile. "Yeah it is. Can we get this little game over with? I have more important things to do."

"Not combing you hair must be high on there."

"Ha ha funny. Just sign the paper and let me go."

"First we're going to try some inkblot pictures to see what you see in them. Just let me know the first word that comes to your mind."

Danielle flipped over the first card.

"Cena in a pool of blood," he responded.

"Okay...and this one?"

"Cena in two pools of blood."

"This one?"

"Cena lamely rapping."

Danielle looked at the picture. "Oops, sorry. That wasn't supposed to be in there." She took out the picture of Cena rapping and stuffed it back under the table.

"Final one - what do you see?"

"Me standing over Cena with the belt after I have just smacked him around for over an hour while the fans are cheering me on." A huge smile spread across his face.

"You know, most people see a butterfly."

"Most people are idiots."

Danielle bit her lip. Meh, so he had a few problems with Cena. Should that really keep him out of wrestling? Maybe if he wrestled a bit more he could one day afford to get a comb and clean out some of his hair. She signed the form. "Give this to Mr. McMahon - you can still wrestle."

"Good because you didn't want to see me mad," he said as he got up from the chair and started to the door.

"You might also want to work on that agression towards Cena."

Edge turned around with his eyes full of hatred. "I should be the champ. Not that sissy boy! I won't rest until Cena is out and I am once again the WWE champ!" He slammed the door as he exited.

"At least if they stay here, they can't hurt other people in the world. Just remember that," she told herself as she laid her head on her hands.


	4. John Cena

The door to Danielle's make shift office burst open again. This time it was none other than the world famous Doctor of Thugonomics John Cena. At least he didn't strike a pose the moment he entered into the room. He just decided to throw his hat and shirt at her. Deoderant was what he truly needed - not an evaluation.

"My name's John Cena and I'm here to say,

I'm the best rapper and wrestler hey.

I grew up on the streets and am hardcore

With a man from a grocery store."

"For the love of God shut up," Danielle said as she covered her ears.

John sat down.

"Is something wrong with you eyes?"

"No, why?" he asked as he continued to face her with his head at a weird angle.

"Why is your head like that?"

"To show how I am hardcore."

Danielle reached for his file. "It says here you are from West Newbery...isn't that the whitest area in the US?"

"It's hard growing up on the streets of W.N."

"And wasn't your family rich?"

John didn't say anything but seemed a bit put down. Here was his hardcore image dashed to pieces.

"You say you're the doctor of thugonomics - what is thugonomics?"

"Thugonomics is when you're a thug and you got some nomics. Thugonomics."

"Nomics?"

"Hey, if you don't know what they are I can't tell you. Secret among us thugs."

"Well then, let's move on. I see here you have a CD out. Very interesting to see what wrestlers do in their spare time."

"Yeah it's phat. Off the hizzle fo' shizzle."

"I didn't understand that."

He made a smirk on his face and leaned forward and leaned back at her. "True thugs like me talk like that. Sorry if you aren't able to keep up."

"Mr. Cena, you are not a thug. You are not even an ug. You are just annoying."

He looked down. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was just a poser. Or even worse - what is he was a wangster? Would he be able to face himself in the morning? What would he be able to do with his life? Maybe he could talk to Randy and find out if he knew anyone who sold fake bling so that he could stand on the corner and sell that.

Danielle interrupted his thinking with, "Did you write this by yourself?"

"The song?"

"Yes, the song."

"Fo' sure."

"I thought so," she mused and started to read aloud the words, "'You can't see me now, you can't see me now, you can't see me now, you can't seem me now' and it pretty much goes on like this for the next nineteen pages."

"Dope huh?"

"Incredibly undope. Dopeless. I don't know if I will be able to pass you on your evaluation. It seems as though you are in your own dream world."

John sighed. "John Cena was the max, now he's just lax. Can't pass on the best, not as good as the rest. Guess he'll have to be a rapper and sing about his life, either that or learn to play a fife."

"If you promise to never attempt to wrap again I will pass you."

"I so promise."

"And never use hizzle or anything related to that word ever again either?"

"Word? You buggin' on John?"

"You're...forget it. Take this and get out of here," Danielle gave him the paper and pointed towards where the door is.

John got up and looked at her from a different head angle.

"Get your eyes checked as well too okay?" Danielle added as her final bit of information. Maybe that would cure him of having his head cocked all the time.


	5. Umaga

"Raa!" came a scream from the other side of the door as it was literally punched through and opened by someone on the outside. A giant hand appeared and Danielle stared at the door with her eyes wide open. This was a monster of a man.

"Raa raa raa," came the sound as this giant Polynessian burst through the door. "Umaga!" he screamed as he beat on his chest with his hands and continued to shout in just syllables. Nothing really important.

"Mr. Umaga, are you ready for your evaluation?"

"Raa!"

"Is that a yes?"

Umaga got into her face and started to scream at her. So she did that anyone else would have done and hit him with her clipboard.

"Pray tell madam what would cause you to injure me so?" the giant asked as he rubbed his head and sat down on the chair.

"Pray tell?"

"Madam, I am not the imbecile whom everyone else presumes. I am but a gentle giant who prefers the comfort of a book and wine over the barbaric fighting which is all to prevalent in these times."

"But you're a wrestler?"

"Aye yes. But tis only done to pay for the elegance which I feel as though I must have in order to lead a fulfilling life."

"That is very interesting to hear. Where did you learn to speak like that?"

"In the theater madam!" Umaga said as he stood up. For a moment there Danielle was worried that he was going to start to come towards her again.

Instead he broke out with, "Friends, Romans, countrymen. Lend me your ears."

Danielle clapped. "You know you would have a good future on Broadway is this whole pounding people into the ground thing doesn't work out."

Umaga bowed. "Yet my artistic ability flounders when I am in front of others. Hence the incomprehensible mutterings that spew forth when I am confronted."

"Maybe a bit of therapy could-"

"Raa! Uh ah raa!" Umaga started. He was obviously not thrilled about the idea of taking therapy. Or maybe he was and just being confronted so he was going crazy.

"Well, at least you aren't as weird as the last few."

"Uh raa ah uh!"

"Sure, you pass. Here's your form."

"Thank you madam. Meeting you has been a great pleasure and I hope to indulge in it again."

"I'll call you."

Umaga bowed and walked out of the room but not before he punched the door again. Just to show that he still had it in him.


	6. Torrie Wilson

Danielle was slowly beginning to think she was going to go crazy from having to evluate all of these guys. This was going to be a long few days. A soft knock came from the door.

"I can see you through the hole - come in," Danielle said as she looked through the hole in the door that Umaga had created.

Torrie Wilson walked in with her famous small dog who continued to bark.

"Torrie?" Danielle had to ask over the yelling.

"Most definately," she yelled back.

"Do you think you could get him to be quiet?"

"What?"

"Do you think you could get the dog to be quiet?"

"Oh it's not the dog."

"Then what is making that barking sound?"

"Cell phone."

"Cell phone?"

"Yeah," she reached down and turned it off. "The dog is fake. I just carry it around."

"You carry around a fake dog? Is he like your stuffed animal from when you were younger?"

"Sort of. He was real once you know but then stuff happens and bam, now he's stuffed."

"That's a bit odd."

"Yeah a few guys tell me that but we still end up hooking up. Odd how guys work."

"Anyway, are you ready for your evaluation?"

"Very much yeah," she said as she propped herself and her fake dog in the chair.

"Just tell me the first thing that comes into your head. Dog."

"Rabies."

"Um hm," Danielle said as she marked that down, "Apples."

"Rabies."

"Rabid apples?"

"Yeah I totally saw this show once where these apples were rabid. Freaked-me-out. I couldn't sleep for like another ten minutes."

"It is impossible for apples to be rabid."

"That was so what Twinkles said but I didn't believe him at all."

"Twinkles?"

"Yeah my dog here. Twinkles just likes to take care of me. Isn't that right me little Twinkles? My coochi-woochie Twinkles," Torrie said as she began to play with her stuffed dog. The dog was as usual just sitting there not doing anything.

"So how long have you had Twinkles?"

"For like ever. Me and Twinkles do everything together. Even wrestle together but most of the time he wins because I end up breaking a nail or something and have to stop. Or one time I was in the middle of watching this really cool show by that really cool dude - you know who I'm talking about - but then I-"

"Shh."

"What?"

"Shh. It means stop talking. Stop talking."

Torrie cocked her head to the side. She was still hung up on the first Shh.

"If I were you, I would get rid of the dog or maybe get a real one. Just...I don't think it's too healthy for you to keep a stuffed dog around you at all times."

"But Twinkles is alive I tell you. Alive!"

"He is a stuffed dog. You told me and now I can see the contents tag under his ear."

"So does this mean I can't like wrestle?"

"It just means get rid of the dog and I will feel better about giving you this paper that says you pass."

Torrie threw the dog into the wastebasket. "All done. Give me the paper."

Danielle handed her the paper. "Just promise me no more stuffed dogs. I just don't think it's too healthy."

"Stuffed dog. Got it," she said as she bounced out of the room happily.


	7. Kane

A/N: As per request of chikipedia. I don't know too much about Kane so I actually had to turn to Wikipedia to look up information about him. O.o Hope you enjoy.

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As Danielle was grabbing for the next form she needed, red smoke seemed to start to fill up the room. "Oh God, please tell me the Ortonmeister isn't coming back," was the first thought that ran through her head. Instead in walked this giant hulk of a man who did not seem happy that he had to see her. Not happy at all.

"Kane?" Danielle asked, almost hiding under her desk. If she thought Umaga was huge, this guy was massive.

As he was walking towards her, a loud clop was heard. Then a string of curse words that she wouldn't have been able to repeat even if she would have known them all.

"Why the hell are the stupid floors around here like that?" he said as he picked his foot out from the floor. Somehow he had apparantly gone through the floor with his foot.

"Does that happen often?"

"At least once a week. Damnit, and I had just cleaned these boots."

"Maybe a bit of club soda can take it out."

"That usually works on the uniform but maybe it will clean the boots as well."

"Or you could always put a bit of shoe polish and just kind of polish over it."

Kane nodded his head and lifted his boot up to look at. "Shoe polish should work well."

"So do you know why you are here?"

"Because of back taxes?"

"No not really. Mr. McMahon just wants me to check on everyone and make sure they haven't gone off the deep end."

"Did you check on that Edge guy? I think he might have gone off a while ago. Probably has something to do with that hair cut."

"Oh yeah he's off the deep side."

Uncomfortable silence filled the room. Then the room had red smoke appear in it again.

"Sorry about that, I can't resist. Red just seems to have so much of a meaning to it. Reminds me of the fire back when I was younger."

"Fire?"

"Yeah...the good ol' days when people would just randomly burn down things for fun. You ever did that?"

"I don't think I ever did."

"Then when it would burn you could hear the people screaming for help but you wouldn't help them even though they were screaming and you could only just stare off into the sunset while you drank whatever drink you happened to have on you at the time. Yep, that was the good life."

Danielle appeared mortified.

"But don't worry. I haven't done that in what - two weeks? Broke my old record."

"Okay there...it says here that you have a half brother who also wrestles."

"Undertaker. I need to burn him again."

"Again!"

"Yeah I tried it a few times but every time he keeps coming back. Reminds me of a cockroach. I hate cockroaches too. I burn those."

"What do you not burn?"

"Good question."

"Okay well to switch questions, you were a dentist first when you appeared in the WWE. What was that like?"

"I didn't get to burn anyone for a while. I missed burning people."

"Um..."

"Can I burn this chair?"

"What?"

"Yeah can I burn this chair? It just reminds me of that chair I burned a few weeks ago. It would just help me solve my problems." Before she could reply, the chair was already engulfed in flames.

"You might be a bit of a pyromaniac Kane."

"A bit. But do I pass because I need to go back out there and burn something - probably Edge."

"Well Edge was a bit rude by putting his feet on here so I can only assume he was rude to you as well. Okay then, you pass." She handed him the paper.

"Can I-"

"No, don't burn the paper. Give it to Mr. McMahon."

His face dropped. He really had wanted to burn the paper. Red smoke filled the door as he walked out, carefully avoiding the hole he had made earlier.


	8. Mickie James

There was another light knock at Danielle's door. No smoke came in, no hand came through the door, the smell of grease was not evident, and there was no bad rapping coming out of the person's mouth. It was going to be a good evaluation.

The door opened and then closed. Opened then closed. Opened then closed. "Just come in already," Danielle said.

In pranced this chick who seemed to be almost bouncing off of the walls. She jumped over the hole in the ground. Then jumped back. Jumped forward. Then jumped back.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Just a little excited. I can't help it." She jumped forward again.

"Take a seat."

"It's burnt."

Sure enough the chair had been burnt by Kane. She forgot about that. "Just grab one from outside."

Mickie James went outside and grabbed a chair. Then she went out and grabbed another chair. And another. And another. And -

"Stop with the chairs."

"Sorry just a little excited."

"Are you on anything?"

"Me? No! Never! Why? What have you heard?"

"Nothing it's just - "

Mickie slumped down in the chair. She looked almost like she had gone to sleep in the middle of their conversation. Slowly she popped a sugar cube into her mouth and jumped back up again. "Almost forgot to take my sugar. Can't forget that. I wouldn't be me without my sugar."

"How much sugar do you take a day?"

"Four - five - six boxes! Six whole boxes!"

"Six?"

"No, it's more like twenty nine but whose counting anyway right? I am. Do you want some?"

"No keep that away from me."

"Okay then," Mickie then proceeds to gobble up another four cubes of sugar.

"How long have you been doing that?"

"What's today?"

"Monday the - "

"Since I was four. Maybe three. I think four. It was one of those days when things seemed to be going fast but then they weren't and then I took some more and whoa, it went fast."

"That didn't make any sense."

"Do you want some?"

"Sense?"

Mickie jumped on the chair and started to laugh. "You are so silly."

"Do you think I should even try with an evaluation for you?"

"Not unless you're full of sugar or else you might not be able to keep up with me and if you can't keep up with me then we might not be able to figure out exactly why I am Mickie and why you are you and then we would have to start all over again and then I would be like, 'Hi I am Mickie' and would probably have to go get some more chairs and did I tell you I like to eat sugar?"

"I don't think I caught all of that."

Mickie took a deep breath.

"No, I was joking. Just please lay off of the sugar."

"Life without sugar? What fun would that be? I would only be able to do things at the normal speed and not at the fast speed and I would miss things that I could have caught if I was going the fast speed."

Danielle just handed her the paper. "This paper is not made of sugar so do not eat it. In fact, don't eat sugar."

"But - "

"Then at least switch to decaf!"

"Coffee? As if. I don't drink coffee because I heard it can make you really hyper and then you would walk around all day really hyper and talking really fast and people would not be able to understand what you are doing and - why are you pushing me out of here? Do I have to go? Do you know where the nearest store is because I am going to need some more sugar because this has seriously stressed me out and - " the door closed, "Can you still hear me? I need to talk to you about what we are going to do today because I am wide awake and maybe now you could be like my best friend since Trish left and..."

Danielle placed her head on the desk and shut her ears. "Why didn't I become a librarian? Why oh why!" It was all she could do to drone out Mickie until she left to go somewhere on her sugar high. Anywhere. Just not out in public.


	9. Jeff Hardy

AN: Thanks for the idea Daddy's Lil Heartbreaker. I tried to make it somewhat normal compared to the rest. He was another one of those I didn't know much about. LOL Volcano at his house. Oh Jeff you are too funny.

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Danielle was recouperating from her interview with Mickie by trying to get her hyper voice out of her head when the door flew open. She didn't even have a chance to see the guy coming towards her. All she could figure out was that he was a guy.

"Boo!" he said as he popped up from in front of the desk. His hair was all over the place in small braids which made him look as though he could use those braids as lethal weapons.

"Jeff Hardy?"

"Correct," he said as he bent into the letters of his name.

"Are you a cheerleader?"

"What? No. I'm just - an acrobat!"

"Really?"

"Yeah watch this," he said as he bent his body so that his legs were behind his head.

"Very-"

"I'm not done yet," he explained as he then refolded his legs so that he was able to walk on them.

"How did you do that?"

"I removed most of the bones that would prevent me from doing that."

"By yourself?"

Jeff laughed. "No."

"Oh good."

"I had my brother Matt help me."

"Is he a doctor?"

"Yeah Matt a doctor. Then when would he have time to wrestle?"

"So you mean to tell me that you remove your bones so that you would be more acrobatic?"

"Not originally. Originally just most of them broke so I decided, hey, they're broke so I might as well remove them."

"But without having a doctor around you might have seriously injured yourself."

"You so sound like my mom. She was like 'Matt, stop cutting your brother' and I was like 'But mom I told him he could' and she was like 'Well okay then but don't use my good knives' and Matt was like 'Sorry already did' then she was like 'Then make sure you wash them' and I was like - "

"So your mom knew your brother was operating on your and she let him still continue?"

"Yeah because she knows how weird it would have been if I would have only left in half a bone. Geeze, you're not too quick on this kind of stuff."

"Sorry just not used to the idea of home surgery."

"I could get Matt over here and we could remove some of your bones so you could do this."

"No."

"How about just one bone?"

"How about no?"

"So tomorrow?"

"No! N-O."

"I can spell that too," Jeff said as he once again started to twist his body into the letters.

"I hate to say this but you pass. If all you're missing is a few bones, it's better than most of these people. Here's your paper."

"For..."

"Paper to give to Mr. McMahon that says you can still wrestle."

"Oh yeah. Alright then, outtie." Jeff grabbed onto his ankles and started to roll out of the door. He was very flexible.


	10. Carlito

AN: I noticed a bunch of people are asking for Smackdown! guys. I am pleased to say I saw my first episode of Smackdown! last night because of everyone talking about it. So it might be a while before I bring those guys on because I don't know their history yet. JBL will have his own "wain" chapter in which he can cry in.

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As she continued to sort through the pile of paper she had on her desk, an apple chunk flew out and landed on her desk in the middle of the paper. "An apple?" she said as she poked at it with her pen. She wasn't going to touch that.

"Because you are not cool," Carlito said as he walked into the room, his afro getting stuck in the door. He had to turn his head sideways to enter.

"So you spit a piece of apple at me?"

"It's just my thing."

"Have you an idea how many germs are on here?"

"There is no germs - only my spit on some apple."

"That's germs."

Carlito thought about it. All of these years he had been spitting apple chunks at people and had never thought for one moment that he would possibly be spreading germs to people all around the wrestling arena. "I apologize for spitting on you."

"That's better."

He crossed his arms and was pouting. "I still don't think you are cool."

Danielle shrugged. "Everyone has their own opinions."

"You're not mad?"

"Nope."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Nope."

"Damnit," he said as he uncrossed his arms and threw one of the chairs in the room.

"Whoa calm down."

"I just said you were not cool and you accepted it. What is going on? Has Carlito lost his edge? Is Carlito no longer cool?"

"Umm..."

"Carlito spits in Carlito's face!" He spit upside down and let it land on his face. Then he started to cry.

"Why did you do that?"

"My father," he cried.

"What about him?"

"He said 'Carlito, you should not spit in people's faces because it might one day come back on you.' I thought he was just crazy but now here I am, and people no longer think that being uncool is uncool."

"Sure some people do."

"You don't."

"I'm different. I'm a normal person. Some of these other wrestlers might think it is still uncool to be uncool. Like Cena. He's crazy. Go tell him he is an uncool rapper. You're not lying either."

"You really think he would be angry about being called uncool?"

"I'm sure of it."

Carlito jumped up. "I am going to spit in John Cena's face and call him uncool."

"Take your paper with you."

Carlito spit in her face as he grabbed the paper.

"What was that for?" she asked as she wiped the spit off of her face.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"Spit on Cena not on me."

Carlito smiled and walked out of the room, sideways.


	11. Highlanders

Two men dressed in kilts walked into the room where Danielle was. By now she was no longer expecting people to knock. In fact, them coming through the door normally was a tremendous surprise.

"I'm Robbie," one of them said as he stuck out his hand and began to shake her hand vigoriously.

"Hi Robbie."

"And I'm Rory!" the other exclaimed as he took her other hand and started to have it with the same intensity as Robbie.

"Nice to meet you Rory but I only want one of you at a time."

The two Highlanders looked at each other and began to scratch.

"So can one of you go wait in the hall?"

"I'm Robbie!" the first one said sticking his hand out again and shaking hers.

"I know you just - "

"And I'm Rory!" the other said who shook her other hand.

"I know we just went over this. But I need to only talk to one of you at a time."

The looked at each other, scratching, then Robbie said, "I'm Robbie!"

Danielle backed up and stuck her hand behind her back. "We've done this before - twice."

"You don't like Robbie?" Robbie asked painfully, "She doesn't like Robbie!" He started to pout.

Rory went over and tried to comfort him by giving him a portion of his kilt to blow his nose on. "Rory likes Robbie. Rory your friend."

"Rory?" Robbie asked when he looked up at Rory standing in front of him.

"Robbie," Rory said with the same intensity. Then they hugged each other in what was possibly the least manly way.

"Are you two like - you know?" Danielle asked as she sat down at her table with her hand still behind her.

"Rory? And Robbie!" Rory asked with a surprised look on his face.

"Rory, Robbie, no?" Robbie asked Rory painfully as Rory started to back away from where he was.

"Rory no. Rory no," Rory said as he backed away and dropped his head. He couldn't look in his teammate's face. Back in Scotland things had been different. There had been haggis on every corner and an Irish man to beat up on every corner. In this strange new world, it was hot dogs and postal workers. He couldn't comprehend what was going on. Everything was just moving too fast.

Robbie looked at his teammate with the same expression. He knew that the change had been hard on Rory what with no sound of bagpipes to wake him in the morning. Not to mention the dry cleaners never cleaned the kilts the way they should be cleaned. "Rory, Robbie sees now," Robbie said as he moved closer to Rory and gave him a hug.

"So are you sure you two aren't...you know?" Danielle asked, "Because I mean it's okay if you are but I would advise getting some counsuling or something."

Rory and Robbie both nodded in agreement and started to walk out the door.

"Wait, first, just take this. Love problems are no reason not to wrestle," she smiled.

"Rory!" Rory yelled as he shoved into Robbie knocking him over the chairs.

Robbie picked up one and hit it on Rory's head. "Robbie!" They both started to laugh and reached out for the paper which Danielle gave to them awkwardly.

"Bye,"she said as she waved bye to them.

"Robbie!" Robbie said as he shook her hand fiercely.

"Rory!" Rory responded with shaking her hand. Then they shook each others hands and walked out of the door.


	12. Spirit Squad

"Ready, OK" came the cheer from outside of her door.

"Oh god please no," Danielle thought to herself as she slumped back in her chair. If she thought Mickie James was bad, the Spirit Squad was like five Mickie James. Sometimes even with the dresses.

"I only need one person at a time," Danielle shouted to them on the other side of the door. The longer they stayed on the other side the safer she was.

"Goooooooo Squad!" they yelled as they opened the door and appeared in formation outside of the door.

"Micky!"

"Mitch!"

"Nicky!"

"Kenny!"

"Johnny!"

"And we're the Spirit Squad!" They then broke down the pyramid and started to jump around the room doing high kicks and just generally shouting.

"One please!" Danielle tried to yell as they continued around.

"2,4,6,8, who do we appreciate? Spirit Squad! Yay!" the shouted again. Danielle gave up hope.

"So you guys are male cheerleaders?" Danielle asked.

The five guys turned deadly silent and glared at her. "We are no male cheerleaders, we are male atheltic entertainers," Micky said with his hands at his side. The others were standing the same way.

"What do you do?"

Johnny answered, "We cheer at atheletic competitions which causes the athelete to excel."

"And at times we wrestle too but mainly those are days in which we can't agree whose on top of the pyramid," Mitch answered with a mischevious smile. The other four broke down and started to smile as well.

"Oh Mitch, you are too funny," Nicky said.

"Shall we show her our new cheer?" Kenny asked as everyone nodded in agreement.

"Ready?" Mitch asked.

"Okay," the other answered.

"Firecracker, firecracker, boom boom boom. Firecracker, firecracker, boom boom boom. The boys got the muscles," the guys all flexed, "The coaches got the brains," pointed to their heads, "And we got the sexy legs so we win the game!" as they ran their hands up their legs.

"Where did you get that cheer from?" Danielle asked as she noted it on her evaluation.

Kenny answered, "I saw this girl do it once and I thought, like for sure we could copy it."

"And we do have the sexy legs," Mitch said. This once again caused everyone to burst out into laughter.

"So did we pass? Are you going to the championship?" Nicky asked as he tried to catch his breath.

"The championship?" Danielle asked startled.

"Yeah Triple H and Shawn told us that you were here to pick who was going to go to the all world male atheletic entertainers championship," he added in between taking breaths. Must have been a smoker.

"No, I am just here to see if you can stay and wrestle."

"Awww," the entire squad said as a few even kicked their foot on the ground in protest.

"It's not fair!" Mikey said, "We worked so hard. Now we're stuck being wrestlers."

"I know. I get so sweaty," Johnny replied as he tossed his head back. They were obviously not very happy about having to stay and wrestle.

"Maybe next year you can go to the championship," she said, trying to get their hopes back up.

"A whole year to practice? That's not much time. Come on guys - let's go," Nicky said as they started to leave the room. Danielle passed the paper off to Mikey before he left the room.


End file.
